This shit sucks, amirite? You deal with your affliction in ways that people don’t understand you. You throw off a bad vibe, sometimes unsettling. And its heightened by pain.

My affliction is MDD (Major Depressive Disorder). Its been in and out of my life for as long as I can remember. There was only one thing I remember that “kept” me happy. And that is no longer an option.

I wish my friends could understand that I never meant to hurt them in any way. But this doesn’t excuse my behavior towards them. In a way, I hope they can forgive me for any pain I caused.

The one thing I know for sure is about this time every night, I cry. I reflect on my day and cry. I’m not healthy by any means. And to some people I am pathetic and weak. And that is true. I am.

I used to feel empathetic so much so that I could sense the vibe in a room so intense no matter the emotion. Basically, if vibes could bounce of a mirror; I would be that mirror. If someone was sad, it would drag me down with them. Or angry. Any emotion directed at me, I would reflect it.

That’s kind of gone away with prescription medication to help me with my depression. So many times I tried to reach out for help, but nobody seems to understand and nobody knows how to help. Except for doctors.

I wish there was a way I could reach you.

I’m going to place this article here. I hope it helps with some insight.

Follow the rabbit.

Be well. Check in with yourself. Often. See how you’re doing. Mentally and physically.

About the Author Glenn R. Beaver, Jr., Creative Director

Business Owner-Creative Director of BeaversDen-General Media: Advertising, Marketing & Public Relations. Well, thank you... for taking the time to read this. The year is now 2019, at Christmas about to celebrate with very little and bring in the New Year in just a couple weeks. Trump is president, and I swear it has divided people morally and financially arguing over his impeachment. A house divided can’t stand. And it’s been this way for two, maybe 3 decades. It’s hard to tell. I guess it depends on who you ask. This is where I’m at now in my life. A few years back I’ve endured a couple of back injuries. And it’s been a scary, alienated or estranged journey to nowhere really. I was a singer-songwriter. And I've been in the media industry since 2006. I started off in music back in 1998 as a young singer-songwriter in the neighborhood of Collective Soul in Stockbridge, Ga. Will Turpin was a friend of the Open Mic host Jason Fowler who would host the shows @15thStPizza every Wednesday night at 6pm-11pm (or later). And every Wednesday Night, I would perform. From time to time, I would see the band members of Collective Soul pop in as neighborhood hero celebrities. It was a real inspiration. It wasn't too much longer after that I met other musicians that were fairly larger than life. Jermaine Dupri for example. After a while, I the starstruck appeal no longer phased me. Especially after working with a few great people doing audio. Which... I went to school while I was in the Military. I CLEP'd almost every class from a proxy classroom called SOCCOAST Afloat. I took my bachelors in business and never stepped foot in a classroom. Non-matriculated. One year. My major was entrepreneurship. My minor was humanities. 2003-2005. I got out of the military and started school with an associates degree in applied science. General Media. My concentration was audio. My sub focus was digital film. 2006-2009. I've been marketing and doing service work most of my working life. Advertising I've been doing since 2009 when I developed the stage name Vallis Castor. I put out an album in 2011 called Wounds of Love. It is still in the top SE results. I've been doing graphics for quite some time. Here and there as a hobby. But more of late as a tool for the occupation. And now, I have utilized my skills for the commerce aspect and I am looking to give back to the society that I have received great experience from. And here I am, offering advertising, marketing and public relations services with analytics, search engine optimization and graphic design. It’s a working knowledge learning curb. But I’m willing to grow with you if the business candor is reciprocated. Be well, readers.

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