Back in Georgia
Well… I’m back in GA in the Stockbridge area. My mom passed away in late August. I was kinda seeing if my pop will be alright. Kinda having a hard time with working online, then doing Uber and Lyft. Just started those two.
You know… Living the nightmare.
Nightmare
Depression, anxiety, mood. I let my nephew beat the shit out of me. I didn’t swing back. I could have. I didn’t press charges. All about this Covid crap. I’m vaccinated, my pop is vaccinated; but my sister’s husband and her, herself plus my nephew think it’s a government conspiracy, while they chainsmoke, eat questionable foods, get tattoos from strangers that aren’t professionals and refuse to mask up, acting like they won’t catch it.
Ass Whooping Forgiveness
I called my brother in law a martyr and I threatened his life if he ever came back over here. My nephew thought I would treat him the same, I guess. I told my nephew not to try me. He thinks he’s God’s warrior. I told him he’s schizo- I told him not to try me. Try Jesus instead. Then he just started hitting me in the face. I just sat there looking at him, telling him he isn’t following Christ’s law about loving thy neighbor as thyself. I called him a hypocrite and started laughing at him with blood all down my face.
He’s been begging my forgiveness ever since… I told him I wasn’t the one that does the forgiving. I told him to repent. He didn’t even know what that meant. And I had to explain it to him. Ask for forgiveness, and don’t do that shit again. That’s repentance. lol.
Meth Heads
Trailer park meth heads. I thought that was 20 years behind me. Now my nephew, 3 or 4 neighbors, and some crazy meth head lady that was with one of my meth head neighbors keep coming around. My pop and I are sick of it. Homeless people walking all through the neighborhood.
I don’t do meth. Just so we’re clear. I smoke pot and vape. I don’t even drink alcohol unless it’s a special occasion.
Kids In Tennessee
I haven’t seen my two youngest kids in person for 2 years because I’ve been here helping with my mom. Now that she’s gone, I haven’t really been making much money. What I do make goes towards food or helping out with the bills. Which isn’t much. And I basically gave away my van to my almost father in law back in Tennessee because I haven’t been able to get back there. I ended that relationship because she thought my son was a pervert at age 10. He’s 14 now. She never admitted she was wrong for not accepting my son from another woman.
I thought… I don’t know what I was thinking. I just wanted to be loved. And she wanted to keep me around until she didn’t.
Meds
I’m on 8 different prescriptions. Low T. Depression. Anxiety. And sometimes have been having non-epileptic seizures.
I just wanna be loved… but just like my name suggests… I’m just a junior beaver in a secluded valley. A noble king of my own kingdom, population: me. Glenn Roy Beaver, Jr. That’s my name. And it’s wore TF out.
As A Bump On A Log
Woe is me, as a bump on a log. Just feeling sorry for myself. Which is basically, the very definition of major depressive disorder. And I’ve felt this way ever since I moved to Tennessee. Now I’m reaping what I’ve sown. Not regretting my two youngest, sweetest, beautiful daughters or my relationship with their mother and her family. I’m just dealing with the consequences of my actions on this road to hell of mine, paved with good intentions.
I just hope that I catch a break. I am over it. I am exhausted. And I don’t want anything to do with people except help small businesses rise above the corporate BS, poverty, the marginalized opportunity for the working class poor, and of course our veterans.
Semper Paratus.
Persistence
I know the odds are against me. I’ve been married and divorced and have proposed to another with my 3rd born and thought about proposing to the mother of my youngest two. It just wasn’t for me. I’ve not begun to really explore my mind or my talents, let alone commitment to hard work.
All I know now, is that I’m staying to this commitment. Writing, blogging, offering services to small business. Even if it’s gotta be a side hustle. And I am not giving up. persistence and moderation is key.
Be well readers.
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