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Pain aside, I’m “fairly easy” to please. Some people, however, would say differently; and that whatever they do isn’t good enough (for me). I’m just challenging them to be better. It doesn’t mean I don’t like them or appreciate what they do. It doesn’t mean I never loved them unconditionally. And it really has nothing to do with me being content, except where it comes to clutter. I can’t think straight in clutter. It clutters my thoughts. And with chronic pain and major depression, it’s hard to do anything but dissociate from everything and everyone. It’s hard to pick up and clean. I get to doing that and my back would lock up.

Prior to that, it’s someone else’s stuff. And I’ve learned boundaries long ago. And I assumed that everyone learned about boundaries at some point in their teenage and young adult years. But I was wrong. I often conflict with manipulative people that tell me how to say or do something with some kind of special authority. If someone chooses not to confide in me, trust me, love me unconditionally…then they have no say in how I should say and do things. And while I am dealing with pain and depression, I will chew the ass off anyone who chooses not to be in that respective relationship role, albeit lover, friend or family and comes at me sideways with their manipulative control.

You are your own person. I am my own person. Step the fuck back and mind your own bubble. You can’t choose what other people say and do. You can only choose how you react to what they say and do.

This is the type of shit that stresses me out. People choosing not to be intimate with me, telling me how to be.

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