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Rant: Liberate

Rant: PART 1. We needed leadership. Not finger pointing and bratty ass name calling from Trump. He left it to the government. When it was NATIONWIDE. Federal government should have addressed it federally. With federal leadership. But no. Nothing.

Instead, what we got was showboating and attacks on states. Fighting with each state. FORCING each state TO FUCKING BID ON VENTILATORS!!! Instead what we got was a group of governors trying to find a way from one state to the next. INCONSISTENT AF.

PART 2. The Governors of each state was rightfully charged to do what was best for their state. But either they went against the grain of the current administration, or they were lost without anywhere to turn to find viable solutions. The communication breakdown is daily and so bureaucratic it’s unreal. The conversation last week won’t be applied until next week. But yet, here we are having a conversation in real time and still can’t get things for weeks. If this was Amazon Prime, we would have next day solutions. You with me?

Civil Unrest

PART 3. STAY TF AT HOME. You dumbass piece of muffuckin shit. Why are not able to do this? Muh Freedom. You Liberty or Death? Go get it champ. But I swear to fucking God if any of my family gets sick and dies because you don’t know how to fucking think about anyone but yourself… there’s gonna be a problem and IDGAF if only 2-3% is sacrificial for the economy. THAT’S FUCKED UP!

PART 4. People are definitely getting sick. People are definitely dying from it. The way it spreads is crazy. The handling of it is inconsistent AF. People are going stir crazy wanting to reopen the country and get back to work. Mob rule is about to happen. The tension is rising. Trump calling for liberation on states. That shit is fucked up. Expect a civil war: mob style.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH THAT?

Poor Leadership.

Coming Soon…

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Muh Muh Muh My Corona

PicsArt


In the wake of a strange time, it’s a wonder how we come to terms with such a pandemic of erratic behavior. Although some people can predict its patterns with analytical data, it does not illustrate cause and effect. Rather, cum hoc ergo propter hoc suggests correlation does equate to causation. There are too many conspiracy theories suggesting that this virus is a stem from the radiation effects of 5G. As if the new 5G Internet frequencies are the ultimate cause of Covid-19. I’m curious as to how, why, who, and where these conspiracy theories originated. I’m also curious as to how these events may be related to the mass shortage of toilet paper, guns and ammo, now medicine and condoms.
Truckers are seeing a series of events first hand as to waiting to pick up loads from distribution centers. And they are witnessing a more absurd relationship within state lines.

While the essential medical personnel are struggling to say healthy and keep the environment and equipment sanitized, truckers are n faced with a much similar insanity.
While unemployment rises, and the stock market is well below the depression line, the world appears to still be stabilized while countries are throwing trillions of dollars at the stimulus.
Everything we were told about socialism, where people were saying we couldn’t afford it… well, we just did. And we are still doing it. Essentially. And watching the markets do what they are doing is the most bizarre and volatile chain of events, worldwide.

It leaves very little room for the sake of argument, any normalcy will return. The world is all on the same page. Some people suggest NWO is about to take place. As if that is truly a bad thing.

In this perspective, it would arguably in the best interest of the world to come together under NWO. One religion, One currency. One Government: NATO/ UN NWO. The reason being- we are on the verge worldwide to reset. What could happen is a deflation. Wage compression. Merge all laws worldwide and dismiss the laws that are not shared. The cost of living will be averaged out globally. The class system may still be the same. Or it may go away entirely. Incentives would be more than fundamental. Such fundamentals would be clean water, clothes, healthcare, education, OJT and a place to call home. This may end up being a social point system. It may be cryptocurrency.

The fact remains: Why did all these CEOs step down? Maybe we will figure that out next time.

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The Valley Law-Chapter 1

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And You Are Antisocialist?

I am a veteran of the US Coast Guard. I work and Pay taxes and utilize the VA like it’s nobody’s business. And you know what…it’s socialist AF. The VA offers all kinds of services of taxpayer money. And you might say, support our troops, they are fighting for our freedom. Ok. Well… what about the people WORKING for our freedom? Did that ever enter your mind? Every citizen of the US that works should be able to afford housing (at the very least an apartment) that fits their fundamental needs. Every working American needs access to healthcare. Why? Because it does not help employers to keep paying for our healthcare at their expense while they are averting from paying for it BY: hiring overseas labor, because it’s cheaper; consolidation of job functions (1 person doing the work of 2-5 people); replacing human labor with automation and Ai.

We lose jobs 3x-4x as fast as they say they are creating them. And you’re buying that hoopla.

There is no max amount on how much a person can make. BUT, there is a MAX dollar amount allowed in our currency circulation. Our economy needs to change. Otherwise, there will be no economy. There will only be rich v poor.

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Change.

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Not bad. Better than expected. Still need to figure this out.

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I’m live right now… can you hear me??

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Can you hear me LIVE??

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Can you hear me LIVE??

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What is Toxic? Set your boundaries

What is your definition of toxic? That needs to relevant and tailored to you and people you want in your life. Set your boundaries. Respect theirs. Understand each other, or leave. If they carry important titles of your life like mother, father, son, daughter, friend, boss, coworker, mentor, etc… if you’re going to be sharing space together… it should be imperative you look after the wellness of each other and respect their space and individuality and what makes them who they are as a person. This includes their baggage of their past, their wounds, their scars, what cuts them deep. Help them be better people. But don’t neglect yourself and what makes YOU better. Your focus should be YOU first and foremost. If you can’t make yourself a better person, you really shouldn’t be trying to make someone else be better. 

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Live Music

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LIAR!

Michael Cohen has made his character be known and will be serving time for it. But for 10 years, he worked with Trump under the same pretenses, and Trump knew… but more importantly needed someone to be that guy. Cohen would not be where he is today before Congress without Trump. And Trump would not be where he is today without Cohen (or some other self-serving cutthroat capitalist).

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Cohen Gives Testimony

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Outlets and Inlets

With my goals and dreams, I’ve come to notice some very crucial to my creativity. The hopes v the expectations v the reality. All in all, my little idea became a project. And that project became a goal. Maybe a slight obsession. It has been an age long dream to do something like this; to blog and to write. To talk to people and send a message. And so I began writing music, then making videos. And now, I’ve ventured in to making podcasts and writing in the blog. For what purpose, I don’t know. But more importantly, is it out there? Is the message going to be out there for years to come? And just for now, the content is barely relevant for all intents and purposes. This is new to me. Most of which is just testing the water and getting my feet wet. As time at times drags on, and flashes by, the content may gain substance. But if the message stays drifting into space until it is recalled back to Earth, how much weight will it fall with on the listener(s)? How much time could I say passes by before somewhere, some day, someone will read it? Or listen to the message.

If we say too much, does it mess with the space/ time continuum? I don’t know. What I do know, is that for many years I’ve always disliked absolute words like always or never. And I’ve always hated repeating myself.

I look for ways to measure myself against something that has nobody’s footsteps near it around it. But at the same time, I look for comfort and security. And that’s all it is. And in the measurements, I always come up shorter than I see it at the time being. One thing I have noticed is that if you don’t like for others to lie to you, be honest with yourself. Observe yourself and reflect. For me, this is very difficult to articulate without revision. At some point in time, I see others with judgment, thinking some of you really have it all together. And some of you more than others. For the rest of us, we tend to become comfortably complacent in our troubles. Making excuses for ourselves to inhibit recovery, growth and prosperity. But it’s not really an excuse. We don’t know how to observe ourselves. We don’t know how to reflect. At times it difficult to meditate on our internalized resources. We see clouds of thoughts inside our brain and we can’t quite sort them and compartmentalize them. Let alone figure out where to start or prioritize our thoughts and troubles.

All of us are naturally designed to be problem solvers. Yet our options are often out of sync with what is external to what is internal. This synchronization is imperative to active progress. And time is of the essence. So either we take the time and utilize everything or we use the fight or flight mode. This is problematic in itself. Lots of us aren’t guided or trained how to think, let alone how to work with things we cannot see on the internal. Emotions, thoughts, memory, experiences… those are all things that we have to deal with on the inside. And if you are riddled with memory loss or pain, maybe even diseases that hinder your ability to produce solutions to your problems, it is even that much more difficult to produce the fruits of life.

There are some things we can do to help this process. Pay extreme attention to and limit what we ingest. Food, alcohol, smoke, information, television, etc. Those are the inlets. These are the things that affect our cognitive functions and allows us to or retards our ability to perform our tasks to great efficiency. The state of zen being in the moment and one with everything and everyone is a powerful place to be. Meditation can be done anywhere sitting or standing. But it is a practice to maintain it. And it is to a very great degree, likely, that we may lose that focus and cause more problems.

My belief is that we will more than likely choose fight or flight instead of rationally contesting ourselves due to time constraints and the expectations of the external. Or at the very least, we tend to assume what those expectations and demands may be. So we end up fighting to reach resolve prematurely. As if we have a choice in choosing our problems to find solutions to. This often times creates alienation.

Some things that may help are prayer and meditation. We can pray and use meditation. But we must be willing to utilize these as tools and resources. We also must be willing to exercise and meditate for these are some outlets. Merely focusing on our being.

That is all for more, see you next time.

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Live Podcast Tonight at 9

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Episode 1- Introduction

About Author

Got the Podcast. Will be talking soon. Oh yeah.

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Tulsi Gabbard 2020 Presidential Campaign: Twenty Things You Probably Didn’t Know | National Review

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Medicare For All

Obamacare was designed to stop further inflation of supplies and services of a greatly needed service. We wouldn’t want all the hospitals to default in bankruptcy would we?

Imagine if you will: millions upon millions of people requiring healthcare without insurance or a stable job to pay for healthcare right after the housing market collapse… and the debt it incurred.

It was not designed to be permanent. It was merely a bandaid (pun unintended).

Thus, the push for Medicare for All.

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To Book an Appointment

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Living with Major Depressive Disorder

For many people, it’s hard to distinguish depression from sadness. Some would say that depression is just stemmed from being on hard times. And in many cases, that is a legitimate stigma to regard as a good assumption. But what pisses me off about that, is that that’s all it is. An assumption. I walk around feeling misunderstood all the time. And that irritates the ever-loving fuck out of me. But that irritation is internalized. I live day to day wishing I could articulate what I mean as precise as I can possibly make it. And as a result, I overcompensate. My tone and infliction comes across as sharp. And for many people I have wanted to keep in my life, that alone has pushed them away. And for the longest time, THAT… the way I come across and the way they shut me out… it perpetuates my state of being. But no matter how I try to fix my relationships, the damage is done and often times, all I’m left with is my journey in life. From job to job, relationship to relationship… state to state. This brings my self confidence level way down. This has kept me from keeping to my goals, my hopes, my dreams. This has kept me from obtaining happiness.

I’ve tried drugs to escape it. Alcohol to cope. Cigarettes to help me meditate on it, just to catch a break from myself. Coffee to make life tolerable and so I stay out of my recliner that I sleep in because my bed is not my own. My partner is not mine. Even in what I call home, I am not at home. And I do it to myself.

With 5 children, all of whom I may not see grow up and be successful and share tons of memories with. As my 3 oldest I barely even know. And as for my 3rd child, I don’t even know him at all. All because I have this affliction that eats at me. And it has for as long as I can remember.

I grew up poor. I slept on the couch for the majority of my childhood. If I had a bed before I was 15, for whatever reason I blocked it out, I don’t remember it. I moved around a lot as a child. Drifting from one school to the next. I hardly knew my dad from all the overtime he worked and my mom would only talk about her. She wouldn’t listen. Often times when I thought she was listening to me, I hear a different story from someone else she had talked to about our conversation. And…I am not blaming anyone. That is just what happened that I can remember.

A lot of my relationships ended as a teenager with friends because of her. She irritated the ever loving fuck out of me with her paranoid schizophrenic cyclothemia. And by the time I was shipping off to the Coast Guard, my mother physically attacked my now ex wife and I got right in the middle of it trying to defend my wife. And as a result from blocking the swings my mother threw, I bloodied her nose. I did not mean to do that. But that’s what happened. From there… my relationships with everyone I ever cared about started going down the drain. And I isolated myself and my ex wife to the state of Maine… all for new hurdles. Hurdles that seemed like me getting my life back on track. But it wasn’t. There was never a track to begin with. It was just turn and point and do what looked good. No roots. No close friends to guide me. If they tried, I didn’t listen. I became self-destructive. Until I thought about getting myself out of a rut. And by then, my baggage from place to place ate at me. My subconscious mind still had a problem I could not let go of. But no solution would ever be obtained. I just had to live with it and distract myself. But again, you have no clue what your subconscious mind is doing (almost never, will you ever know). I know I would wake up in night sweats. I would talk in my sleep. I have even woke up as a teenager in a neighbor’s house asking where my mom was. I walked across the street in my sleep at the age of 13 or 14 in the pouring rain from the couch of my living room, late at night with my parents, in the front room kitchen in a single wide trailer; and back after I woken up. I was still wearing jeans. I was bare footed. My pants were soaking wet and I remember a police officer checking to see if I was that boy my neighbors were concerned about. I remember pretending to be asleep when he asked to see my feet. My mom showed him, and when she pulled back the blanket off my feet I could hear her in shock that she did not even notice that I walked right out the front door. And still I pretended to be asleep. And I just laid there all night wondering why I would do that. It freaked me out, too. And after moving away, being married with a child… I didn’t realize the burden I put on my new family. I was focused on my job. But still perplexed about bloodying my mother’s nose. There was no forgiveness for me for a very long time to come.

I did not understand depression. I thought depression was just a synonym for sadness. My wife at the time was dealing with postpartum of her own. I didn’t understand that either. But it turns out, in my own new functionality in life, I was making her depression worse. I won’t mention too much about this…to my readers, just know that I isolated her and we later got divorced that caused much more hardship for myself.

But before the divorce was even in the works we had another child. But we were in the process of separating before and after he was conceived. And while we were separating I made a horrible and unforgivable decision to see someone else, make a pornographic movie with a stranger and then I tried to build a relationship with my sex partner in the pornographic scene.

It was just lies after lies after lies I kept telling everyone. Trying to conceal just how fucked up I was. And another son was conceived. And for about a year, I got to hold him as much as I could. But when the lies started to reveal themselves, my chances to be the father that boy deserved was gone. To this day, I cower in my own making to try and set things right. The only thing I can do, is just see him through my screen of my phone as if that is the only connection I am permitted to. I deal with that shame every day.

For my two oldest, I try to see them when I can, as for when my talents and skills be utilized to make money, or through my humbled gratitude of my current situation allows. I have many thanks to one particular person in my life, and that person will never know how grateful I am.

As for being a veteran, I am thankful for the VA. They have been helping me deal with my mental health and allowed me to see myself as a spectator of my life.

The things that bring me joy aside from my children are aquariums and fish, writing music, dogs, being able to see new places and playing random open mics and writing.

With two college degrees, military experience, and my personal experience; I have decided to pursue a career in music and my own business. After having many failed relationships and having 71 jobs in 5 different career fields and having lived in 5 states, I have realized my strengths and weaknesses. I am still struggling with that. And in my capacity, I don’t believe that I am good enough for anyone else’s standards. I am still doing music, although, It’s been a while since I have recorded anything. I’m still working on my business plan, but now, I believe I have… something. All I am asking for is support in it. I will produce in my craft, as long as I have that. And again, to those that have supported me on my path, even if it was just a little- to me… it means a lot. And to my readers, thank you for believing in me.