It is what we strive to do, one way or another to survive. Some more than others because some of us like people while others, well, not so much.
We know this. We put this in the back of our minds as we hustle and struggle. We vent and restructure. We build and rebuild our selves and resources to make ourselves more marketable. And we tally up all the negative things people do to us, just so we can dismiss them and we do it for growth.
It’s not familiar to be alienated and abandoned but it is common nonetheless. And it’s becoming the norm. On a business front and in the home life. So what we do is mark each person that does us wrong with a piece of baggage. Whether it’s having many relationships or jobs, that burden becomes both a blessing and a curse.
As a matter of fact, we learn the most from failure. And either we displace ourselves away from society or we go with it and learn from it the best we can.
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With my goals and dreams, I’ve come to notice something very crucial to my creativity. The hopes v the expectations v the reality. All in all, my little idea became a project. And that project became a goal. Maybe a slight obsession. It has been an age long dream to do something like this; to blog and to write. To talk to people and send a message. And so I began writing music, then making videos. And now, I’ve ventured in to making podcasts and writing in the blog. For what purpose, I don’t know. But more importantly, is it out there? Is the message going to be out there for years to come? And just for now, the content is barely relevant for all intents and purposes. This is new to me. Most of which is just testing the water and getting my feet wet. As time at times drags on, and flashes by, the content may gain substance. But if the message stays drifting into space until it is recalled back to Earth, how much weight will it fall with on the listener(s)? How much time could I say passes by before somewhere, some day, someone will read it? Or listen to the message.
If we say too much, does it mess with the space/ time continuum? I don’t know. What I do know, is that for many years I’ve always disliked absolute words like always or never. And I’ve always hated repeating myself.
I look for ways to measure myself against something that has nobody’s footsteps near it around it. But at the same time, I look for comfort and security. And that’s all it is. And in the measurements, I always come up shorter than I see it at the time being. One thing I have noticed is that if you don’t like for others to lie to you, be honest with yourself. Observe yourself and reflect. For me, this is very difficult to articulate without revision. At some point in time, I see others with judgment, thinking some of you really have it all together. And some of you more than others. For the rest of us, we tend to become comfortably complacent in our troubles. Making excuses for ourselves to inhibit recovery, growth and prosperity. But it’s not really an excuse. We don’t know how to observe ourselves. We don’t know how to reflect. At times it difficult to meditate on our internalized resources. We see clouds of thoughts inside our brain and we can’t quite sort them and compartmentalize them. Let alone figure out where to start or prioritize our thoughts and troubles.
All of us are naturally designed to be problem solvers. Yet our options are often out of sync with what is external to what is internal. This synchronization is imperative to active progress. And time is of the essence. So either we take the time and utilize everything or we use the fight or flight mode. This is problematic in itself. Lots of us aren’t guided or trained how to think, let alone how to work with things we cannot see on the internal. Emotions, thoughts, memory, experiences… those are all things that we have to deal with on the inside. And if you are riddled with memory loss or pain, maybe even diseases that hinder your ability to produce solutions to your problems, it is even that much more difficult to produce the fruits of life.
There are some things we can do to help this process. Pay extreme attention to and limit what we ingest. Food, alcohol, smoke, information, television, etc. Those are the inlets. These are the things that affect our cognitive functions and allows us to or retards our ability to perform our tasks to great efficiency. The state of zen being in the moment and one with everything and everyone is a powerful place to be. Meditation can be done anywhere sitting or standing. But it is a practice to maintain it. And it is to a very great degree, likely, that we may lose that focus and cause more problems.
My belief is that we will more than likely choose fight or flight instead of rationally contesting ourselves due to time constraints and the expectations of the external. Or at the very least, we tend to assume what those expectations and demands may be. So we end up fighting to reach resolve prematurely. As if we have a choice in choosing our problems to find solutions to. This often times creates alienation.
Some things that may help are prayer and meditation. We can pray and use meditation. But we must be willing to utilize these as tools and resources. We also must be willing to exercise and meditate for these are some outlets. Merely focusing on our being.
What is your definition of toxic? That needs to relevant and tailored to you and people you want in your life. Set your boundaries. Respect theirs. Understand each other, or leave. If they carry important titles of your life like mother, father, son, daughter, friend, boss, coworker, mentor, etc… if you’re going to be sharing space together… it should be imperative you look after the wellness of each other and respect their space and individuality and what makes them who they are as a person. This includes their baggage of their past, their wounds, their scars, what cuts them deep. Help them be better people. But don’t neglect yourself and what makes YOU better. Your focus should be YOU first and foremost. If you can’t make yourself a better person, you really shouldn’t be trying to make someone else be better.