This shit sucks, amirite? You deal with your affliction in ways that people don’t understand you. You throw off a bad vibe, sometimes unsettling. And its heightened by pain.
My affliction is MDD (Major Depressive Disorder). Its been in and out of my life for as long as I can remember. There was only one thing I remember that “kept” me happy. And that is no longer an option.
I wish my friends could understand that I never meant to hurt them in any way. But this doesn’t excuse my behavior towards them. In a way, I hope they can forgive me for any pain I caused.
The one thing I know for sure is about this time every night, I cry. I reflect on my day and cry. I’m not healthy by any means. And to some people I am pathetic and weak. And that is true. I am.
I used to feel empathetic so much so that I could sense the vibe in a room so intense no matter the emotion. Basically, if vibes could bounce of a mirror; I would be that mirror. If someone was sad, it would drag me down with them. Or angry. Any emotion directed at me, I would reflect it.
That’s kind of gone away with prescription medication to help me with my depression. So many times I tried to reach out for help, but nobody seems to understand and nobody knows how to help. Except for doctors.
I wish there was a way I could reach you.
I’m going to place this article here. I hope it helps with some insight.
Be well. Check in with yourself. Often. See how you’re doing. Mentally and physically.